There are a lot of myths about what a woman should become after having children. In fact, just yesterday at the gym, I was having a conversation with another mom, and I asked her: “What do you want next in your life?”

She is a single mom with two children, and her response really impacted me. It seems she’s putting herself to sleep, almost as if her life is over, because she’s a mother. She said, “Well, I’m a mom — what am I gonna do? My life is raising my children.” (There was resignation and hopelessness in her tone.)

As soon as I arrived home, I felt driven to write this piece. It’s sad to see any woman ever give up on herself when there are always so many possibilities to embrace.

You have the power to change your life. You have so much inside you that wants to come out. Every time you see another beautiful, successful or confident woman and wish you could be like her, ask yourself: Why don’t I see myself through the same lens? What is it about me that I’m resisting? What is stopping me from seeing and owning my own greatness?

If you’ve come up with a bunch of excuses for why you can’t achieve your goals, it’s time to stop fooling yourself. Self-sabotage is the easiest way to avoid taking responsibility for your life.

Here are some tips that have worked for me as a mom:

•It’s your duty to shake that booty

I see and hear moms say that they don’t have time for exercise. They’re too busy working, their kids are always running around, blah blah blah . . . Taking care of themselves becomes secondary, not important. Ladies, I’m not saying worthiness comes from what you look on the outside, of course not, but taking care of yourself and pride in your appearance sure helps to feel more motivated and positive about life. One positive step inspires another, and soon you’re likely to find that you are more present for your children and feel more energetic.

Start with easy, doable steps by participating in something active for at least 30 minutes each day. Trust me, it is not that hard; and when you start to see the benefits you, will love it and will want to do more. SERIOUSLY, get your booty off to the gym and invest one hour of your day in yourself. Take care of YOU! You will feel the difference and your kids will, too!

• Become the change you want to see in your relationship.

If you are a single mom and want to manifest a great man, make a list of the qualities you want your man to have and start cultivating those very qualities in yourself. In other words, what you want to attract you have to become first.

If you keep attracting jerks, it’s a good sign you’re probably disconnected from your own loving and compassionate nature. In other words, IF YOU WANT A QUALITY MAN, first embrace the quality woman that you already are! It has to start with you.

• Simon didn’t say, “Stop having fun!”

A woman is more attractive and interesting when she’s joyful. That’s the feminine nature — we are meant to shine our light! That’s who we really are! Our kids love it when we’re happy. Positive energy is contagious and they pick up on it. Remember, you’ve already got everything you need. Your job is to embrace it all and share it with the world. 

One thing I often do after dinner with my kids is play pop music with them and dance. I make goofy moves, and after a few minutes of annoying looks from them, they join in! We end up having a blast, and we laugh like crazy. Through moments like that, I discover myself coming even more alive, and I am so grateful. Bonding through sharing fun like this is also a great way to create lasting memories for my kids. Whenever I think about such times spent together, it reminds me that I can choose to make the best out of my circumstances, no matter what.

• Learn new things.

The mind needs to be upgraded. You know how you are continually upgrading your computer programs and operating systems? If you don’t keep up, your computer gets really slow and doesn’t work as well. Well, the same happens with the mind; you have to feed it with new information or it atrophies. Learning new things is fun and keeps us motivated in life.

Eliminating old ways of thinking that no longer serve us is important, too! Adopt new thoughts that make you feel great and set you up for success. Remember you, and only you, have the power to choose what you think.

When you start to live your truth and realize that what other people think about you is irrelevant, you set yourself free!

Above all, make it a part of your routine to celebrate yourself every day for your successes (no matter how big or small they seem)!

Yes! MOMS can do it all! There are no rules you are bound by except those you’ve created for yourself. You can be Sexy, Fit, Playful, Funny and Successful. There Are No Limits! When you show up for yourself, the universe supports you powerfully and in continually surprising ways.

To your highest life.

Adriana.